Captain Hook's Lost Year
by happynfluffy
Summary: Killian tells Henry the tale of Hook's Lost Year
1. Tell me a Pirate Tale

Killian had been a little hurt by yet another of Emma's jabs. First it was the "leather conditioner and eyeliner" remark and now the insinuation that he only thought of himself. He tried to let it go and not let it affect him but her words were slowly eating into him. However, he knew she trusted him with Henry and that she needed his help. So he swallowed down his retorts and agreed to watch the boy. As Emma finished her goodbyes to Henry, she gave him a glance and then walked off.

"So lad, it seems you are stuck with me yet again. Any activities in which you would like to partake during our time together?" Killian asked with an arch of his brow.

Henry glanced up from his device, "Well the batteries are almost dead and I don't have the charger. How about we check out the beach?"

"Great idea lad, lead the way." Killian gave a slight bow and Henry chuckled.

As they stepped onto the beach, Henry found a log and sat down on it. "So, Killian, since you dress like a pirate for your job, do you know any good pirate stories?"

Killian thought for a moment, "Aye, I do. Though I'm not certain that your mother would approve of most of them."

"She's not here. Aren't there any you can tell me?" Henry pleaded with his best puppy eyes impression.

Killian grinned at him. He supposed there was one story he could tell that would seem like a fantasy to the boy. "Alright. How about I tell you about Captain Hook's lost year?"

"That sounds interesting, let's go with that" Henry patted the log next to him.

Killian sat down and chewed his lip for a minute. This story was not an easy one for him to tell but he knew it might be good to get it off his chest. He took a deep breath and began.

"Peter Pan's vile curse was almost upon them when Reg…the Evil Queen…blocked it with her own new curse. It returned her, Snow White, Charming and Captain Hook, along with the other residents of the previously cursed town back to the Enchanted Forest."

"Wait, wait, wait" Henry interrupted, "The Evil Queen does not like Snow White and Captain Hook is a villain. Peter Pan is a good guy and does not curse people. Plus they aren't all in the same story."

"Peter Pan is the most vile creature I…I mean Hook has ever encountered. Look lad, do you want to hear the story or not?" Hook tried not to get flustered with the boy.

"Sure, go ahead it is just a story anyway." Henry nodded.

"Very well then, as I was saying, "The group had landed back in the Enchanted Forest. The Evil Queen had informed Hook that his ship, the Jolly Roger, had also been returned and that he would just need to find it. So Hook said goodbye to the Charmings and set off to look for her. He wanted to get back to his life as a pirate as soon as possible in order to forget what he had lost."

"See I told you he was a villain" Henry stated proudly.

Killian sighed, "He was a villain but then he changed."

Henry looked puzzled, "Why?"

"Because he fell in love" Killian responded.

"Oh, well then why did he want to go back to being a pirate?"

"The woman he loved did not return to the Enchanted Forest." Killian fought the sadness in his voice.

"Did she know he loved her? Did she not love him?"

Killian pondered the question. _Did she?_ "Aye she knew but I don't know if she loved him. She may have started to fall for him but there was not enough time. She had to stay behind because her child wasn't born in the Enchanted Forest. As part of the Evil Queen's new curse to save everyone from Pan, her memories replaced so she no longer remembered him."

Henry jumped up "But if he loved her couldn't he go back and find her?"

"It's not that simple. Now do you want me to continue or do you want to keep asking questions?" Killian was getting impatient.

Henry just motioned for him to continue and sat down again.

"So Hook searched port after port for the Jolly. He was beginning to lose hope that he would ever find her. Nothing was helping his mood as he could neither forget his love nor return to his previous life. She had given him a taste of what it meant to be good and it had awakened a part of him that would not let him rest. At first he tried to ignore it. He tried to look the other way when he saw a wrong being perpetrated. Finally though, he could take no more. He started helping where he could as he continued his search. A young orphan would get a coin or some bread, he would help a lady cross a stream, he would carry an old man to his home if he had fallen by the wayside. The great Captain Hook was reduced to a mere good Samaritan."

"That doesn't sound so bad but this is getting boring" Henry huffed.

Killian chuckled, "All in good time lad, I am getting to the exciting parts. Finally word reached him that the Jolly Roger was in the next port town. Hook made haste to the town and his heart soared when he spied his prized possession in the harbor. _It's about bloody time_, he thought. He hastily made his way down to the docks and stepped onto the deck of his girl. That's when he felt a sword in his back. He turned around to see Blackbeard standing on his ship and threatening him.

'Hook, I wondered when you would show up' Blackbeard sneered. ' What are you doing on my ship?'

'Your ship, the Jolly Roger is mine and has been for over 300 years' Hook pulled his sword.

'Finders keepers. You were nowhere in sight when I happened upon this lovely girl. I claimed her as mine. If you want to win her back, you will have to get through me first.' Blackbeard pulled out an extra dagger.

'Very well, have it your way' Hook attacked.

Hook and Blackbeard dueled around the ship. Hook was able to divest the devil of his dagger but then Blackbeard jammed his foot into Hook's knee, causing him to falter. His sword clattered to the ground.

Blackbeard stepped up to Hook 'Look's like you lost you worthless excuse of a pirate.'

Hook noticed the opening and jabbed his hook into Blackbeard's arm, causing him to drop the cutlass. Hook quickly grabbed the sword and pinned Blackbeard to the railing.

'No, I won and there is more to me than just a pirate. Now get the bloody hell of my ship before I gut you' Hook snarled.

Blackbeard left the ship and Hook sighed in relief. Aside from his throbbing knee, he had no other injuries. He ran an inventory over his ship and found it to be in great shape. Perhaps the sea would give him the calm he sought. Just as he was about to prepare to set sail, his attention was caught by someone clearing his throat.

'Captain' Mr. Smee said.

Hook grinned, 'Mr. Smee, it's good to see you. Have you the whereabouts of the rest of the crew?'

Smee nodded, 'Aye Captain, most of them. But they won't be back until tomorrow. Would you care for a pint after your journey?'

'Aye Smee' Hook said as he followed Smee back onto the dock."

"HENRY" Emma was yelling for him as she could not see them where they sat on the log.

Killian glanced up, "Your mom's back lad."

Henry waffled, "But the story is not finished? Can we finish it now? Maybe mom would like to hear it too."

Killian shook his head, "Tis not something that would interest your mom. Perhaps another time?"

"Sure Killian. Thanks, I'll see you later" and with that Henry ran off to his mom, leaving Killian to watch as they disappeared.

"So kid, what did you guys to today?" Emma asked at dinner.

Henry looked up from his fries, "Killian was telling me a pirate story. It was getting good just as you came back."

"I don't know if those stories are appropriate for you" Emma was making a mental note to talk to Hook about his choice of entertainment.

Henry huffed with a dramatic sigh, "Mom, I'm 13 and the video games I play are worse than this story. So far there was only one sword fight. Pretty tame."

Emma raised her eyebrow, "Really? What was it about?" she asked, wondering what Killian was filling his head with.

"He called it _Captain Hook's Lost Year_ and it is about how Captain Hook lost his love because of a curse and wanted to be a pirate again but he couldn't because he knew what it was like to be a good guy. Killian had just gotten to the part where Hook won his ship back from Blackbeard." Henry turned back to his burger.

Emma thought for a moment, her throat was constricted for some reason so she cleared it before saying, "Why don't you tell me the story?"

"Killian said you wouldn't want to hear it"

"Well, I do want to hear it if you will tell me, it can be our little secret" She winked at him.

"Okay mom" Henry told her the story as he had heard it so far.


	2. The Mermaid's Curse

"Henry, I have to do more investigations today. How about I see if David and Mary Margaret would like to do something with you?" Emma asked him.

"What? NO! They are boring. Why don't we see if Killian can do it again?" Henry asked hopefully.

Emma shook her head, "I'm not sure he would want to do it. He probably has other plans."

"Mom, he would do it no problem. Can we just ask him?" Henry was confident that Killian would say yes.

Henry and Killian were once again sitting on the log on the beach.

"So what happened next?" Henry eagerly asked.

"Well lad, Captain Hook and Mr. Smee had just settled in for a pint when the rest of the crew found their way to that particular tavern. There was much celebration upon the reunion. Mr. Smee introduced Hook to a particularly nice young lady and Hook escorted her out of the tavern." Killian began.

Henry interrupted, " But I thought Hook was in love with another woman, why would he want to go with this girl?"

"Because he did not want the crew to be suspicious of him. Just wait for the story, will you?" Killian bit his lip. " As I was saying, Hook escorted the lady out of the tavern. Once outside, he thanked the woman and sent her on her way. He then began his stroll back to his ship. Suddenly someone hit him from behind, knocked him to the ground and held a knife to his throat. He heard the voice of a woman but couldn't see her for the stars in his eyes from the blow to his head." Killian rubbed his head from the memory.

'My name is Ariel and I am going make you pay' the woman said.

'Look love, I'm not sure you know who I am' Hook replied.

'I know exactly who you are, Captain Hook. What did you do with Eric?' Ariel growled.

'Eric? Don't know who you are talking about lass' Hook flipped Ariel over and grabbed the knife from her. ' Now if you don't mind, I will be on my way.'

Ariel was seething. 'I know you have him. He was kidnapped and taken aboard your ship!'

'My ship was stolen by Blackbeard and I only just got it back' He tried to keep from getting angry with the small redhead.

'Oh' Ariel sniffed. She looked to be on the verge of tears.

Hook rolled his eyes and tried not to regret what he was about to say, 'Ariel, I will help you find Eric. But you must follow my orders and do as I say – understood?'

"Yes! Thank you!' Ariel was gushing.

Hook and Ariel came up with a plan to make it look like she was forcing him to help her. They parted ways with an agreement to implement the plan the next day in front of his crew.

The next morning, Hook was preparing to set sail. Ariel came running up to him.

'I'll kill you. You will pay. I will invoke a mermaid curse on you so dire you will have wished to have never been born!' she shouted.

The crew stopped in their tracks and looked at Hook.

'Darling, I see no mermaids here and I am not sure what offence I am meant to have committed but I am sure we can come to some arrangement. Surely gold will suffice?' Hook raised one eyebrow and smirked at her.

'You can give me nothing but your life!' she spat at him. Then she grabbed his arm and removed her bracelet at the same time turning into a mermaid and pulling the Captain into the water.

'MAN OVERBOARD!' One of the crewmembers yelled.

'CAPTAIN' Shouted Smee.

Ariel pulled Hook through the water as he held his breath. He struggled to hold it long enough to reach the agreed upon spot where he could grab a fresh breath of air. Finally they reached a capsized rowboat and he gasped for air.

'Bloody Hell woman, next time give me a few more seconds to get a good breath.' He sputtered and coughed.

Ariel looked chagrined, 'Sorry! Now can we please find Eric?'

Hook caught his breath and grinned, 'Aye do you know who might want him or pay his ransom?'

'No, I thought it was you since he was taken on the Jolly Roger.' She looked near tears again.

'Okay, Okay, let's get back to the ship and then we will see if we can pick up a trail' Hook replied, rolling his eyes at the thought that he would have to make another trip through the water while holding his breath.

Ariel grabbed him and they swam back to the docks.

Mr. Smee spotted them first, 'Captain, you are alive? Should we gut the mermaid?'

'Nay Mr. Smee, it appears that it was a misunderstanding and she will hold off on the mermaid's curse if we but help her find her beau. Have any of you seen or heard of the kidnapping of Prince Eric?' Hook looked around at his crew.

Mr. Smee looked askance for a minute and then began wring his hands, 'Aye Captain, Blackbeard had him aboard and was going to ransom him. I think he had him stashed in an inn not far from the ship. Was supposed to meet the buyers this evening.'

'Do you know the location of this meeting place?' Ariel asked

Hook gave her a short glare before returning to Smee. 'Mr. Smee, this is of upmost important. Let us make haste and find this inn before the mermaid's curse is cast upon us.'

Smee led the way to the inn. A few well-placed gold coins procured the exact room location and they all proceeded up the stairs. Once inside, they found Prince Eric bound and gagged on the bed.

'ERIC!' Ariel cried and ran over to them.

Eric's gag was removed and Hook cut the ropes of his binding.

'Ariel, what are you doing here? Why is he here?' Eric looked warily at Hook.

'HE is the one who saved your life' Hook snarled.

Ariel smiled at Eric, 'It is true. I thought he was the one who had taken you but he wasn't. He helped me find you. Now let's go home.'

Hook's heart hurt a little when he thought of home. Sure, he had the Jolly Roger, but she still did not feel like his true home.

Just as they were making their way out of the tavern, a group of masked bandits set upon them. Hook gave Eric a dagger and they both stepped in front of Ariel and Smee. They made quick work of the bandits but hurried along back to the docks. Hook agreed to give Ariel and Eric a ride to their kingdom and they set sail.

From the helm he could see the pair. There was hardly any space between them and he could see the love shining out of their eyes. He inwardly cursed at himself as his own heartache resurfaced. He despaired that he would ever see his love again or be able to forget her. He called Mr. Smee to take over and went to his quarters for a drink.

In his cabin, he pulled out charcoal and paper and made a drawing of her. He was amazed that he could remember every detail of her face as if it had only been hours instead of months since he had last seen her. He drew her long locks and wished he could run his fingers through them."

"EWWW! This is getting mushy Killian!' Henry whined.

Killian paused and chuckled. His fingers were tingling at the thought of running them through Emma's hair. "Sorry lad, I will skip over that part."


	3. Save the Saviour

"Hook had completed his new mission and had safely deposited Eric and Ariel back in Eric's kingdom. Both had graciously thanked him and offered their services if they were ever needed. Ariel had hugged him and just as he was pulling away she had told him, 'Everything will work out Hook. You will be with her again.'

Hook was stunned speechless and just nodded and strode back onto his ship.

After several more months of sailing the seas, looking for solace in the waves and peace in the breeze, Hook was standing at the helm when a bluebird landed on the wheel. He was taken aback for a moment as birds did not usually fly so far out to sea. He noticed a small note attached to its leg. After removing it, he read:

_Hook, _

_ The Enchanted Forest is under attack. A new curse is returning everyone to the land without magic. Find the Saviour and bring her back._

The note had no indication as to whom it was from however it was all the incentive that Hook needed. The Saviour was the woman he was in love with and if this note indicated he could get back to her, then he would try his bloody best or die trying.

After another week of searching, Hook was able to procure a small vial of memory potion. He only had the funds and the resources to procure enough for one person. He hoped that it would be enough for the Saviour's son as he had other ideas on how to restore the Saviour's memory. Now he was searching for a way to travel to the Land without Magic. That proved to be a much harder task. After about the tenth inquiry in as many towns, Mr. Smee brought him some good news of a witch who might be able to help him get to his destination. He was told to travel alone to meet her.

Hook arrived at the Witch's cabin. He steeled himself and entered the cabin. It was actually a pleasant home and the witch appeared much nicer than most witches he had seen – having only dealt with the Evil Queen and the Queen of Hearts.

'Captain Hook, I have been expecting you.' She looked him over. 'My name is Glinda'

'Tis a pleasure to meet you m'lady. My crew inform me that you may have a way to travel to the Land without Magic?' Hook asked hopefully.

'Alas dear Captain, I do not' Glinda shook her head sadly.

Hook gave a short bow and turned to leave, 'Then I shall be on my way.'

Glinda put a hand on his arm to stop him, 'You, however, do have the key to returning to that land and to your Saviour.'

'I beg your pardon m'lady but I have nothing that can create a portal' Hook was skeptical.

Glinda giggled softly, 'But you do Captain. You have the Jolly Roger and she is made of enchanted wood, is she not?'

'Aye'

'Then you have your answer. The Jolly Roger is made from the same forest of trees that also held the tree that made the wardrobe that sent to the Saviour to the Land Without Magic the first time. Therefore it is true that this wood could also make such a portal' Glinda was almost giddy in imparting this information.

Hook gasped. 'You mean it was literally under my bloody nose this entire time?'

'Yes. The question is can you do what must be done?' Glinda asked.

'I will do whatever it takes to get back to her and to help her family' Hook vowed.

Glinda clapped her hands, 'Then listen carefully…'

Hook left Glinda's home and headed back towards his ship. The loss of the Jolly Roger would be painful to him, but if it meant he would see E…the Saviour again, then he would sacrifice his ship a thousand times over. Upon returning to the ship, he gave a rousing speech to his crew and dismissed them with his remaining treasures to find new employment. Mr. Smee was reluctant to leave but he was given and extra ration of treasure and he went on his way.

Once alone, Hook ran his hand along the railing, then along the wheel and the long ago scratched out navigation compass he had created for Baelfire. He would miss the old girl who had been with him longer than anyone in his life. She had always been his home and his safe harbor. Hook also knew that she no longer satisfied him and that he could no longer truly be a pirate. Not when his heart belonged on land with the woman he loved.

The witch had told him that in order to get back to the Land Without Magic, he must sail the ship into the harbor and light her on fire with a magic candle. As the ship sank, she would release her magic and open a brief portal to take him wherever his heart desired. All he must do is think of his destination.

'Sorry to do this but they need me' He took a deep breath and lit the candle, then dropped it to the deck and watched the ship slowly begin to burn. He slung the pack with his remaining belongings on his shoulder and braced himself for the possibility that he might drown.

As the ship began taking on water and sinking, a bright light appeared just over the helm. Hook walked over without hesitation, took one look around and walked into the portal."

Henry was on the edge of the log, "Did he make it to the right place?"

"Aye Lad" Killian said with a smile.

"So they lived happily ever after, huh?" Henry said.

Killian shook his head, "No lad, not yet. Shall I finish?"

Henry nodded his head.

Killian began again, "Hook saw a startling bright light and then he was tossed on the ground in a green area. He looked at the buildings surrounding him and smiled with relief because he had been to this place before and he knew he was in the Land Without Magic.

It took several long days of searching for the Saviour in the mass of humanity surrounding him. Hook lacked any of this world's currency, so he slept on a bench in the green area, which he now knew was called a park. He followed some of the other less fortunate people and found that he was able to get at least some food. Finally he found the Saviour's dwelling.

He knocked on the door and she answered, but of course she did not remember him and she kneed him rather painfully in the nether regions. Hook was concerned because he knew that he would have to use the memory potion for her since she did not feel for him as he did for her. After a few more encounters, he convinced her to take the memory potion and she regained her memories of him and they departed the town to go save her family."

Killian was quiet for a moment.

"Well, what happened after that?" Henry asked.

"I don't know lad" Killian did not know how to end the story.

"WHAT! How can you tell a story and not know the end? Did the Saviour love him after she regained her memories? Did her son get his back?" Henry was angry.

Killian just looked at him sadly, "Perhaps the story is not yet fully written? The Saviour had been hurt by others and she did not want to love anyone again. It matters not. Captain Hook would always be by her side, no matter how hard she pushed him away and hurt him. The boy had not yet retained his memories but perhaps he will in good time."

"Well…can't you just make it up and pretend you know the end?" By now, Henry was exasperated. Then he heard his Mom calling. "I've gotta go. Just think of an ending, will you?"

Henry ran off and Killian ran a hand through his hair, "I wish I knew lad."


	4. Emma's Realization

Henry was relaying the story to Emma and she kept quiet for the most part with only a "Really?" or "Hmm" thrown in at particular parts.

When Henry got to the part about the memory potion being for the Saviour's son, Emma was momentarily stung. Hook had meant the kiss to restore her memories and the potion to be for Henry's. Henry brought her out of her thoughts and continued with the story.

Tears began to run down her cheeks when he got to the part about the Jolly Roger. She had wanted to know what happened while she and Killian were apart, she knew he had been lying, but she never imagined he had sacrificed the ship to get back to her.

"Mom are you ok"? Henry looked concern.

Emma swiped at her cheeks and smiled, "Yes. I had something in my eye"

Henry just gave her an "uh-huh" and finished the story.

Emma didn't know what to say. She was trying to process all the information. She knew Hook thought he loved her but she did not know that he would go through all he did for her and then not tell her.

"Henry, I know you think they are boring, but David and Mary Margaret would really like to see you tonight. Do you think it would be ok just this once?" Emma tried her best mom indulgent smile.

Henry sighed, "Ok Mom, but just this time."

Emma realized she had no idea where Killian had been staying after they came back to Storybrooke. She figured she would try the docks first. Luckily, she saw him sitting on a crate, staring out at the sunset and lost in thought. She took a moment to gather her thoughts.

"Swan? To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you twice in one day?" Killian smirked.

Emma fidgeted, "I just thought…we could…ummm…"

"Spit it out love" Killian had no small amount of trepidation of what she could need. His heart still hurt from telling the story and he just wanted to take his mind off the whole thing.

"Do you want to have dinner with me?" The words came out fast.

Killian was stunned for a moment. "Aye love, what's the occasion?"

"I just wanted to talk" Emma stated.

"It has been my experience that when a woman says that, nothing good can come of it" Killian smirked.

Emma got angry, "Why do you do that? Why do you hide behind bravado and innuendo?"

"Because, _darling_, it matters not what I say, you still throw it back in my face. Perhaps this is a bad idea. I am tired and I believe I will take myself to my bunk" Killian began to stomp off.

"Wait! I'm sorry" Emma caught up with him "I don't know why I do that. I don't know why I say hurtful things. I don't mean to but it just seems easier than letting someone in."

Killian sighed "Emma…I've just had a long day. Was there some assistance you needed?"

Emma did not know how to tell him what she knew but she needed him to know that he meant something to her. That she might indeed love him. She did not know when it had happened and she had fought against it, but dammit, she knew it was true. She could not make the words come out, so she did the only thing she could think of and leaned up to kiss him.

The kiss was soft and she heard his surprise before he grabbed her waist and kissed her back. She could feel the love radiating off him and it made her head swim. She released him after a moment and he was speechless because he was afraid of ruining the moment. Killian was no longer prepared to hear that their kiss was a one-time thing. His heart could stand no more.

Finally he spoke, his voice hoarse "Emma…"

She put her fingers on his lips. "Killian, Henry told me the story you told him. He thinks you made it all up but I know you didn't. The story was the one you would not tell me, correct?"

Killian nodded. He scratched behind his ear nervously and looked away. She brought her fingers to his cheek and forced his eyes back on her.

"Thank you. You always come back. You always stand by my side and take my jabs. I have never truly reciprocated your feelings and yet you have been loyal to me. You gave up your _home_…_for me!_ Why?" Emma was holding back tears again.

"I would do anything for you. Don't you know that? Emma, the Jolly Roger _was_ my home, but without you she was just a ship. I have tried to patient and give you time. I did not want to trick you into loving me. I wanted you to love Killian Jones. I wanted to be worthy of you. For 300 years I was a pirate bent on revenge, but I no longer want to be that man. I want to be the man you love. I want to cherish you every day and give you everything you desire. I know you don't feel the same way and I have tried so hard not to tell you the truth because I knew it would push you away, but I can no longer lie to you." Killian's heart raced. He had not meant to pour his heart out but the pressure of keeping it all bottled inside had torn at him.

The tears did start to fall and Emma could barely talk past the lump in her throat. "Why do you think I do not care for you?"

"Because I could not bloody well restore your memories." Killian said.

Emma laughed slightly, "You do know that True Love's Kiss does not work on memory loss?"

Killian just opened and closed his mouth for a second but no sound came out. He could not think of anything clever to say at the revelation.

"Killian…Hearing this story did not trick me into loving you. It only made my love grow. I am tired of trying to keep you at a distance. I am stronger when you are in my life. I love you and I am sorry it has taken so long for me to say it"

Killian grinned and wrapped his arms around her, "You love me?"

Emma laughed and pulled back slightly, "Yes, I do." She gave him another kiss, this one more passionate than the last, "Now, how about that dinner?"

"Aye love, that sounds wonderful" He smiled and offered her his arm. She took it and they strolled towards Granny's diner.

"Thank you again Killian. For everything." Emma leaned her head against his shoulder.

Killian lightly kissed the top of her head, "Anytime love."


End file.
